Wastrel's Homecoming

How To Sing Like Elvis?

2010-03-17T16:57:00.054+02:00

SING LIKE ELVIS!
(June 2005)
Music: Harri Pikka, Words: Antti Filppu.
This song was originally called Sing, Bastard!. The lyrics are as they were, with the exception of the word "shotgun", which had to be taken along recently to replace "bastard", as the latter seems to be in use everywhere nowadays. (In 2006 I had a cowboy song title Sing like a gun!, but since then there have been too many shoot outs in real life, so better let it go). This was and still is a joke. But it says something about the truth, also, as jokes often do.

They don't let me sing
But I don't wanna growl no more
It's all fucked up, I know
And they laugh, Then they say
It sounds like Tom Waits
But I can't hear it at all
There's no magic spell
To help you through this shit
If you can't sing like the king
But you gotta try, You've got to try
Something else instead
I can't sing like Elvis
Like Vladimir Vysotsky
I can't sing like the Russian Elvis
Baby, I'm a shotgun
And the drunken flight is cut short in the lines
The same things will fall to all but some lucky bastards
The wolf hunt is on, In the corner of the street
I've met a few who were sad as hell
Well, one got away and he's still growling aloud
A song for all friends and a song....
"For the earth is not dead,
Great sorrow has just made it black"
"Surun pyyhit silmistäni pois"
I wanna sing like Elvis
Like Vladimir Vysotsky
I wanna sing like the Russian Elvis
Baby, How would you like it
If I could sing like Elvis
Like Vladimir Vysotsky
If I could sing like the Russian Elvis
Baby, How would they like it
They would not like it
Nje poni maju, Nje poni maju
Harasho! Ruki ver!

WRITE SOMETIMES TEN TIMES

Sometimes imaginations appear to be
more or less like living beings.
Sometimes a man gets carried away,
when he should be having his X.X.X.X.
Sometimes thoughts come to life
and cause trouble to those who try to think.
Sometimes works of art become
like warning signs for the world.
Sometimes an unprepared soul has to deal
with things he is incapable of understanding.
Sometimes the curses of today's world
make us unable to see anything.
Sometimes our cities are full of bad spirits
and meaningless, terrible noises.
Sometimes the neighbours know that something
is happening, but they don't know what it is.
Sometimes there's bullshit all around you
and you can't say if it's your own or somebody else's.
Sometimes there's a wound to be healed,
but what is this in and out of love?

”24 hours, boys!” said Bon Jovi's manager. I used to watch their Breakout video at least once a week in the summer of 2003. It was one of my sources of inspiration for the new lyrics. And I'm telling the truth when I say that this OG thing was, besides being ”a favour for a friend”, a lucky chance to re-visit "the cold wastelands of youth". To say a few words left unspoken while doing a few things left undone. The final scene was shot up without a trace of blood & shot down without a blaze of glory. And that's the way it was meant to be. No real guns were used and the leather jacket I wore belongs to someone else (I sold mine in the nineties already). It seems I was identified as "the front man", as if it was me who's driving the band wagon. But things were much more interesting. And they remained as such from the beginning of this journey to the very end. I think very few people actually realized all of this. If you ever wondered what the hell, maybe now it's time to stop wondering. And honestly I don't think anyone cares that much. As for me, I had nothing to do with the ”metal scene”, and I didn't listen to that kind of music anymore (which doesn't mean that I disliked the genre or the people, I just wasn't part of it – apart from being the singer of this band). A few interview comments may have been out of the line, but there will be no explanations. Why not? As they could show what was going on. But no, I don't believe it ever caught that much attention, when it simply was my fault or when someone didn't hear what I said: "what I'm trying to achieve with OG is to transmit a metaphorical form of art". Now say that again. Did I try my best to explain how rebellion has dried up and there's a chance for something new. That a lot of things had gone way too far, and we're just trying to rock the boat TO ANOTHER DIRECTION. The last three words were left out. Since the first interviews I kept on mumbling f.ex. "Kalevala mysticism & medieval German romanticism will always be among the main themes in our work". How well that kind of stuff really fits into this kind of jesting. You can only blame yourself. Small time & small change?

Take a look at these "last notes".
They were definitely written, composed & arranged,

but never recorded. And I think they work even better this way.

ASS OF GOD
(January 2006)
Music: Harri Pikka, Words: Antti Filppu
A quick sketch for a song, although some say it's the best I've ever done for OG. The guys in the band wanted to have a song with Pasolini & sodomy, so I gave them a fable. Everybody got what they wanted, so everybody must be happy. But what exactly happened? Who was riding on an ass?

An ass on an ass with a cock
Riding all the way from holy Rome
To this town called Asshole
Only Exit signs where ever they went
Then a dog came to the ass
Howling like a wolf, the dog said:
"Maybe they're all assholes!"
Then the dog put his cock into the ass
And the cock would crow thrice
Then the dog saith to the ass:
"Agrippa and Bruno were holy men,
Moses and Jesus Christ were full of magic"
The cock answered:
"I have read Three Books of Occult Philosophy, and..."
The ass below interrupted:
"Three books only? I have read them all!"
The cock couldn't take it anymore:
"That's what I call one hell of an ass!"
But the ass above asketh the dog:
"Have you ever tried to see it in Levi's shoes?"
Then the dog came in the ass
Howling like a wolf, the dog came
While one good-looking ass screamed from the crowd
That had gathered around them:
"We want more details, give us more details!"
It was already getting late and they all wanted to get laid
The dog put his cock into the ass
And the cock would crow thrice
The dog came for the ass
Howling like a wolf, the dog came
God had been watching it all
But god didn't speak, not a word
And still they try to prove that it has all been revealed today
But that's what they've done over and over again
For a thousand years already

ROTTEN FLESH TO RIP-OFF
(Taken from Wasted Years, Sentenced to Death
and Rotten Flesh to Consume.
All were songs written in 1994.)
Music: Harri Pikka, Words: Antti Filppu
This was the last song I wrote for OG,
but it was all....

He was in love, sweet young love
And everything was alright
'Till that bastard came and took his girl away
Revenge was all he wanted
To kill that bastard,
Get his girl back
But he was wrong, that gun didn't help him
It was the wrong way,
It was the wrong way
Twenty years in jail took his soul away
Hail hail those wasted years
Oh what a wonderful wasted life
Pick up the phone book, roll the dice for their death
Who will be the next, who will be sentenced to death
Now he’s playing the part of a ritual killer
Man, he’s playing the part of a ritual killer
And he can't help for digging the casket up
His lusts are too great, he always wants the best
The best meat, it will be found six feet below
Rotten flesh, oh he loves to eat it, sialozemia
Dry and rotten flesh to consume
Creophagy, Botulism, unified entrails
“They smell bad, I don't need them
I take the flesh, it agitates me”
Twenty years in jail took his soul away
Hail hail those wasted years
Oh what a wonderful wasted life

I believe this was part of a greater "omnium-gatherum" that simply happens if and when it is to happen. No practice or preaching will ever help you to get the letters right. And yes, even though I was one of those ”troubled minds”, I had a very good time. We succeeded beyond all expectations. (Krhm, I'd like to remind you there were none). What happened between me and the rest of OG during the years 2000-2006 is like a closed circle. And it was something that needed to be done. These things had a reason to take place. And most importantly: everything was left open for the band and their new singer to go on a new cycle of their own. (It is true that they could have carried out my departure in another way, but nobody's perfect). Yes, damn right there was enough time for me to properly end what had begun. The last demo from January 2006 really says it all, and I'm very glad that we got it done. For my part this was like a cause riding to shoot the rebel. Or was it a law reaching out (for the ”outlaw”)? Maybe it was a lamb dressed in wolfskin, looking for a honeymoon with the real thing. That must have hurt. In any case, it seems that our strange kind of gathering delivered the goods and people enjoyed from ”all of that jiving around”. I didn't ask for this five year side trail they gave me, but I loved it all the more and nonetheless! So I still raise my cup for Markus, Janne, Harri and Jarmo for picking me up from a certain dead end station back in October-November 2000. Thank you.

Woodbine Garden Sessions

2010-03-17T16:52:00.106+02:00

REHEARSAL DEMO APRIL 2004:
I
THE FALL WENT RIGHT THROUGH ME
II
THEME FROM HELSINKI, HELSINKI
III
MISANTHROPIC AUGUST FALLS 1996
IV
SILVER MOON & WINTER QUEEN
V
AUGURIES A-GO-GO

REHEARSAL DEMO NOVEMBER 2004:
I
MONEYTALKS
II
SUICIDE MACHINE
III
HANGAR 18

REHEARSAL DEMO JANUARY 2006:
I
CITY RED LIGHT (WITH HIGH SPIRITS AND BARCLAY)
II
NEITHER DEAD NOR ALIVE
III
REMEMBER THE FROZEN
IV
DAS WEGRECHT
V
MY HANDS WERE TIED

Recorded at Woodbine Garden Studio, April 2004, November 2004 & January 2006, by Teemu Aalto & OG. These were meant to be rehearsal sessions and so we left them unfinished. Maybe there's a bit of human touch in return, at least I hope the soul comes through. They're close to what it was like when we played live. Vocals for the April 2004 demo were recorded in less than three hours, but they needed more than three cups of coffee (though every YIW song was done, this fistful will be enough). And the November cover songs were buried for years until Moneytalks suddenly came by, giving us a good laugh. It's ridiculous, I know. Some of the lyrics for the January 2006 demo were written and arranged a few days before the recordings (but they are as complete as it can get). The Finnish words on Das Wegrecht were taken from an old spell, meaning to ward off evil spirits. They feed us li(n)es, but the truth is all we have to have. The Woodbine Garden Sessions are now "official"!

CITY RED LIGHT (WITH HIGH SPIRITS AND BARCLAY)

Light the city red for that honey
Maybe it will breathe with the soul
Even when I'm drunken no longer
All the names of god will be there
Come, bless the world
And I’ll pray for them tonight
Come, bless the world
They’ll pray for me tonight
The light is gone, help us now
We gotta face the ghosts and know it all
No church will help without pity
Yes, all living things they have a soul
But god given coins we need here
Come, bless the world
They’ll pray for me tonight
Come, bless the world
And I’ll pray for them tonight
Where has all that faith gone
If the cities fall and if we fail
We’ll go back to them, old places
Where the spirits are high
What’s wrong with a summer night
Alright, just a drunkard telling things
Didn’t have that much to say
Some have it more, some have it less
Is the city of being (still) here
Or is it burning to the ground
No, if the cities fall and if we fail
We’ll go back to them, old places
Where the spirits are high
Where the spirits are high

NEITHER DEAD NOR ALIVE

We’re not cowboys
But we ride on a steel horse
Bad things are many
From fear of life to that of death
But the good thing is nobody wants us
Neither dead nor alive
And I swear it’ll be all straight
But you better stand your ground
When I shoot will it be near the truth
It will be the truth oh yeah no yeah no
You may get shot through the heart
with a mouthful of fine words
‘Cause you never know
Even when you’re standing tall
Who’s coming, who’s got a gun
(“The water in these boots
On a cold autumn day
It’s a truth, but a truth I can’t accept”)
Who’s coming, who’s got a gun
Bang bang shoot shoot
We’re not cowboys
But we ride on a steel horse
Bad things are many
From fear of life to that of death
But the good thing is nobody wants us
Neither dead nor alive
And I swear it’ll be all straight
But you better stand your ground
When I shoot will it be near the truth
When I shoot it’ll be the truth
When I shoot will it be the truth

REMEMBER THE FROZEN

This land is precious like before
So beautiful is the sight, pure as crystal
Scryed over the hills and the freezing nights
From the secret stars above
To the ground so frozen
(It hides) in every act and thought
Timeless forests remember the heart
Forever I shall enshrine the memory of thine
The trees have grown, I watch them rise
And speak of times before this life
On the snow a beast has walked
Near the graves of their gods
Our long gone dead loved ones
Still guiding us in this time and space
Forever I shall enshrine the memory of thine
The trees have grown, I watch them rise
And speak of times before this life
"And the earth is our soul,
How could a man with his boots..."
Could he ever kill a soul
I’ve heard their voices, neverending
Forever I shall enshrine the memory of thine

DAS WEGRECHT

Keep the world from lying groundless
And the sleep of many from one’s own dreams
To save us from being no ones now
Oh save what is good in this
Fear is loathsome as resting ungrounded
The world is full of all kinds of others
With different rights, different fights now
(Us and them of which) some are red and others black
While some are white and walk the wrong hand path
I'm in the middle of them all, give me the right of way
Don’t let a heart lose its name
I’ll greet them like this
Take my own horse and ride it
Up and down my very own pathways
Just let there be light or a guiding voice
For human will and the divine heights
And for those who could not choose between them
Some are red and others white
While some are black and walk the wrong hand path
I'm in the middle of them all, give me the right of way
Don’t let a heart lose its name again
Like the angel whose wings were blackened by oil
Or like an old word, full of dust and forgotten
"Kumpi tietää vähemmän, se väistyy tieltä!"
"Jos oot paha, tekemä toisen
niin koittele kotiis, ja kovasti
Mä'e syrjin syyttömästä,
Vieritse viattomasta!"
Some will go away while others are coming back
And some are standing still, and some don’t even know
What is the why and where is the who
But life is red and love is white while death is black
(And sometimes) everything is blues

MY HANDS WERE TIED

Let it flow and let them leave behind what they want
For black is the river that runs in their veins
And they will be free from ol’ god
All of the heathens who never fell in love
Or they fell but they fell too long with no one
Yes, wise old man river goes on and on
Whether you’re chained to it or not
Like a downhearted singer of the north
“I ran like hell, those motherfucking dogs
And gunmen trying to get me, but I ran like hell”
And old laws they were no more
But they’re here now ‘cause I need them
And old loves they were no more
But they’re here now,
Let them stay (for a while)
For all that we have been
If we begin to do nothing, oh no god
Our hands will be tied and we get caught
Everywhere of the day or in the hours of night
Sleep(ing) mornings away to get through the worst
“For everything that can be broken, is it broken already
For everything that can be broken, is it broken already”
And old loves they were no more
But they’re here now ‘cause I need them
And old laws they were no more
But they’re here now,
Let them stay (for a while)
For all that we have been

"When the light is red, it means stop. Do not walk."
These bootlegged sketches for songs have returned to the early OG's atmospheres, and something positive is in the air, never mind all the bullshit going on. Angels offer their help and Barclay's City Red is lit for the girl on the street. Hey, we're not Fi(n)nish[ed] yet. So many different things are coming together. Tetragrammaton is just around the corner, waiting to be finally pronounced, but is it right or wrong? Either way, aren't we all guilty. VR-makasiinit burned down to the ground while I walked the streets of Helsinki. Through the smoke and the flames I wandered. City Red Light (With High Spirits And Barclay) urges people to move from urban areas to the countryside, that is, ”if the cities fall and if we fail”. Erich Fromm wrote of The City of Being. And The Church of Pity was the title of a poem in 2002-2003. (See my collection of Lyrics at http://www.mythicpoetry.blogspot.com for more). Neither Dead Nor Alive is like Bon Jovi’s Wanted Dead Or Alive. Or then again, maybe not. Remember The Frozen is an old song title from 1996. Some of the lines were taken from another song. Same era. It was about silence and winter nights. Vladimir Vysotsky sings about boots that can never stamp down a soul. See his Song About The Earth. And Das Wegrecht is “the right of way”, taken from Paul Celan’s poem. Celan killed himself. I can’t recall who was the singer of the old Finnish spell fragments. The first line, however, is from the classic theme of Kilpalaulanta, The Singing Match. It is all about knowing, knowers, and the way we wanna go. "Tie" means “road, path, way”, and "tietää" means “to know”. The Wrong Hand Path refers to something that we all must be able to decide for ourselves. But it's about trespassing. We should learn how to pay our respects to each other. Free Spirit and the freedom of choice / will should be cherished at all cost. And we all have a right to change our opinions, our ways, our paths. Maybe this is just an ideal, but it's something I have learned to be worth striving for. Fellow poet, Janne Nummela, told me in 2003 that the vocals on SAAL sound like "enkeli jolla on siivet öljyssä" (an angel whose wings have been blackened by oil). My Hands Were Tied is a very dear song lyric to me, as many lines were taken from Under Autumnal Rain (first version, Spring-Summer 1995). I was faced with a serious problem those days: my heart bled tears of joy but I was the singer of a band that needed to have bad boy lyrics. And as I was learning that Other Thing (yes baby, it would get so much worse), I ended up writing about black rivers and things like "can heathens fall in love?" Luckily I didn’t have to answer the question since my soon-to-be ex-first love left me like a bullet leaves.....

Years in Waste

2010-03-17T16:52:00.105+02:00

THE FALL WENT RIGHT THROUGH HERE
WASTE OF BEREAVEMENT
MISANTHROPIC (LET THE CROWN FALL)
BLACK SEAS CRY
IT’S A LONG NIGHT
NO MOON & NO QUEEN
GRAVESILENCE
THE NOLAN’S FATI
MORE WITHERING

AUGURIES GONE

YIW is much more sophisticated than our previous releases. Many people have said there's coldness in it, or even loss of soul. For a journey into the wastelands of youth it is only natural to have that kind of feelings somewhere along the way. Well, it ends in the tulip fields, where the morning sun is shining and everything's fine. The long night is over. But whether or not there is real mysticism behind the veils, or just fooling around, you will have to decide for yourself. YIW is not a hit in the face (though with these songs it would have been even likely to become one, just listen to ”Theme From Helsinki, Helsinki”, the demo version of ”Waste Of Bereavement”). Auguries go with odd apologies and sympathies, but there's no hate for you, honey. Musically YIW has many sides to its story, some playing hard to get in their tekhne, while others are just simply beautiful. Lyrically it brings together the letter of pop cult and the spirit of high cult. Or was it vice versa? This was the end of an era: the long awaited homecoming of our Wastrel.
- Written for the August 2008 release

THE FALL WENT RIGHT THROUGH HERE

Whose fault is it
If one hasn’t been here long enough to be happy
‘Cause every day they try with branched thoughts
But they fail in something, They fail to see
Whose fault is it
If one hasn’t been here long enough to be happy
‘Cause every day they try with branched thoughts
But they fail in something, They fail to see
That “I’m so fucking tired, Why can’t I be alright”
And for those who felt nothing this year
The fall went right through here, And here
And here with the burdens we’ll have to take now
To be safe from harm, To get us through
For how long has it been there
My heart’s so full of this
No leaves will line the streets
And who could ask for more, Who could ask for more
The world of my soul is all I have
To thank with all of my patience
And I don’t wanna follow
The same old goddamn line
‘Cause it would be too much and I would be no more
Then I wouldn’t be at all, Then I wouldn’t be at all

WASTE OF BEREAVEMENT

Now the devil is old and diseased
In the very heart of each bone
All the sons have gone to their mothers
To learn the things that will count
Those who die may come back
“How you leave today” does not
And if you wanna get down below
Then you'll get down below
How I'd like to live in a city
That don’t breed for spiritless dreams
But I'll stay awake and I'll pray
Let them go away if they want
“My fucking youth in a sewer”
Is not the loss to be grieved
And I got no hate for you
Honey, No good it will ever be
If I can't make it here I'm not gonna make it
If not here, I'm not gonna make it anywhere
“My fucking youth in a sewer”
Is not the loss to be grieved
And I got no hate for you
Honey, No good it will ever be
Poor devil's ass for god's fist
If what you are is being a no one
And if you wanna get down below
Then you'll get down below
Oh oh oh oh, Is it like that
Will the little town little boots
Melt away, Melt into this world
If I can't make it here I'm not gonna make it
If not here, I'm not gonna make it anywhere
Anywhere, Anywhere

MISANTHROPIC (LET THE CROWN FALL)

Will the earth sink into the abyss of nothingness
With naught but thick blackness
And have I followed the will of my own
No, I don’t think I’m any better than you
If the circle gets all straightened up
Then comes the age of northern winds
No one is crowned, Let this word be weighed
I’ve washed my hands to hold you close
Well, I'm dead serious tonight and I'll have it now
Set out to sing, Baby, To sing the verses of fall
When there are no more words left
That's the right thing to do, Right on yeah
Well, I'm dead serious tonight and I'll have it now
Set out to sing, Baby, To sing the verses of fall
When there are no more words left
That's the right thing to do
It's not a question of who's the meanest motherfucker on earth
It's not a question of who gives or who doesn't give a fuck
"Maahan miehet, Maahan miekat, Maahan untelot urohot,
Sa'at miehet siiven alta, Kymmenet kynän nenästä!"

BLACK SEAS CRY

A wretched man one will grow to be
While someone’s heart is weeping
Is it a lot of weight, A lot of grief
And what will become of this
There’s nothing for us, Nothing else
As long as it lasts the world’s all the same
Broken and lonely hallelujah
And three rivers will be with you
And the greater the sorrow
The more trees will grow from where it began
If you have to cry then cry now
And let them hear, Bringing the seas near
To know what it’s like..........
Oh yeah, I know what I don’t know
‘Cause I’m just like you
“Even if the search was neverending
I swear I’ll return here
With bitter frost surrounding
With a part of the emptiness
The night is inside, The night is beloved”
And three rivers will be with me
And the greater the sorrow
The more trees will grow from where it began
If I cry now it’s too much
But I’ll let them hear, Bringing the seas near
To know what it’s like……….

IT’S A LONG NIGHT

Empty frames, Withered leaves and a broken window
“18 years have had to go, They’re gone, Who found the path”
The angles to my heart wide open with angelic speech
But it can’t be said out loud, The thing is that it can’t be said
Or the morning sun will set into magic sleep
Something in my heart told me I must have you
Tonight I’ll have it all, Now lay on the bedded grass
It’s coming and it’s a long night
For the souls who got nobody
It’s coming and it’s a long night
For the souls who got nobody to lean on
Empty frames, Withered leaves and a broken window
Love was not a glance away
A warm embrace more than a dance away
“I should go outside and take a walk”
With no incense and no lute
It’s coming and it’s a long night
For the souls who got nobody
It’s coming and it’s a long night
For the souls who got nobody to lean on
It’s coming and it’s a long night
For the souls who got nobody
It’s coming and it’s a long night
For the souls who got nobody to lean on
And autumn is there to picture the loss
I’m not going back, No, I’m not going back to that

NO MOON & NO QUEEN

Snowing wherever you go
Seen in the red light of sunset
Tell me of times before this life
And tell me if it’s too late, Already too late
I’ve tried to be cleansed from their quarrels
The curtain of flames was easily passed
Though I feared, I feared a lot
For life can be hard sometimes
When we’re dreamless and cold
The moon hiding tears of scarlet
Nothing but a glance of mourning
Winter queen is made of deceit
And the heathens they all die too young
“I want to hold you in my arms,
I want you more than my soul”
In chambers and in need
For my eyes to be blessed
And what was the worth of it all
How did I live through the mist
Given the part of a wolf
Almost hunted down by the weak
In chambers and in need
For my eyes to be blessed
For life can be hard sometimes
When we’re dreamless and cold
The moon hiding tears of scarlet
Nothing but a glance of mourning
Winter queen is made of deceit
And the heathens they all die too young
“I want to hold you in my arms,
I want you more than my soul”

GRAVESILENCE

Good life brings loss that is honest
The rope tightens when I’m soulless like you
Now I’m here with this fucked up dream
Not a sound, Time has stopped and we’re blind
Who turned the amplifier to full volume
And sang about grave silence:
“Rainy days and lonely nights, Only darkness
There’s no light or X.X.X.X in my life”
This place is a moment of grief, No bullshit
Who turned the amplifier to full volume
And sang about grave silence:
“Rainy days and lonely nights, Only darkness
There’s no light or X.X.X.X in my life”
This place is a moment of grief, No bullshit
With years changing it all stays the same
Where am I going and where have we been
True depression is different, Isn’t it
“If I can’t cut it out and direct the force
To something useful, I’ll make the right decision”
And it’s not like a real suicide

THE NOLAN’S FATI

For how long have they done thy will
“The sun of midnight is ever the son”
How much it takes to see what burns our skin
Oh what have we achieved by this
Words are spoken and things are done, What is wrong
God is damned but god’s animal mother is alright
“I can’t find myself, Don’t need this anymore”
(Well, At least my mother has faith in magic)
The loss of strength could not have me
I got new boots, I'm back on my feet
(Asinine and golden I ride to this city)
While by our lady precious chaos rules
For how long has all been in dirt
Let’s hope it rains, I think they’re dying or is it just me
Well, At least the stars gave birth to something new
But if it’s the kind of love and it’s the kind of love
That we’ve been warned about, They’re in trouble
And the stakes are high as that of Bruno’s
For all the humble tyrants nowadays
Is it better to keep on singing
“Your paths were never even close to mine”
When I was cast aside I thought it’d be my fate
With hollow eyes Proserpina’s garden is left behind
And the stakes are high as that of Bruno’s
For all the humble tyrants nowadays
Is it better to keep on singing
“Your paths were never even close to mine”

MORE WITHERING

Caught somewhere close to this world
Close enough to watch beside
Where else could have we retired
When there’s no place at all, No, Dear
Is there a haven for those who can’t wait no more
Would there be a haven for us
Mordant wrath is like a dead tree
For my ears were, They were killing me
Mordant wrath is like a dead tree
For my ears were, They were killing me
“You think you’re withering but you’re not withering”
Mordant wrath is like a dead tree
For my ears were, They were killing me
You know I have tried not to forget
How I suffered from everything
That was within (and all over) me
And what we used to be like
In the haven where I lived
Without you, Without you
Now would you help me
’Cause I’ve seen this already
Have I taken it all with me
“And I’m so easily caught
Forgive me that I’m caught in this
That I can’t help it like I couldn’t help it before”
You know I have tried not to forget
How I suffered from everything
That was within (and all over) me
And what we used to be like
In the haven where I lived
Without you, Without you

AUGURIES GONE

They say the good man has gone bad
And nothing’s god comes to those who wait
But they own our world and I’m not part of it
Are those devils gonna have their way
We’ve been stranger than the night
But force and furor helped us through
“Babe, you got real wolfen eyes
Would you come and take me down”
.....Down .....Down.....Down....
......Down like this.....
So now I’m sober and quiet like a thief
(Don’t need an augur to save the day)
Well, I’ve seen all Nietzsche’s blood dry
The things I hear are they what I want
We have no right to what’s left inside
Damn right we’ll get it back

“…like a falling rose the red wine bleeds
lovelorn tears vanish in bereavement…
.......shattered echoes of yesterday
I heard them fade away like a….”
(In early 1997)

Wading across the tulip fields in an old park, In remembrance
And in solemn moments such as this I’ve…………..
“En ma enää aja virvatulta”

They say I got wasted, But my hands are clean
I got long hair and empty pockets, No money at all
But this wastrel’s got a free spirit and he’ll walk with you
My eyes may have suffered but they’re still full of X.X.X.X

It lives in my heart and always will
It lives in my heart and always, always will

(Getting sentimental at Nosturi, Dead Achilles Tour in 2004).

The Fall Went Right Through Here

A bastard seed for thee, with an interpretation. It doesn't mean you can't keep your own. The video could explain something or it could lead us all astray. There's OG on television, and the singer's ridiculous "tough guy" looks are too stupid for the man who's watching it, so he throws the TV out of the window? The video is good if it is thought of being staged like that. But the album covers were a problem. I was terrified when I saw the SAAL cover for the first time. Now they wanted to have a big skull with a graveyard. And the title would have been Fall Grave Silence. No thanks. But why not? Sorry, I'll have to leave you without an answer. And I was happy about it all, I didn't ask for more. "They fail in something, they fail to see this." Maybe it had to look the way it did and maybe it had to get crazy. But I beg you to read the lyrics if you want to know what's happening. And do let the musicians play, we foolish poets have to keep on writing.

Waste Of Bereavement
Bereavement is a song title from October-December 1996

I wrote this song in July 2003 at the summer cabin where, unlike usually, I managed to do some men's work in the woods. Hey, what's going on amidst our feelings and thoughts. Some people want to be bad to the bone. Some people don't see the forest from the trees and they go hunting down the devil without looking what's inside themselves. I think the word confusion says a lot. And there is something for everyone. It doesn't really matter that much how you take the lesson as long as you take it. For your own sake, the interpretation is free and almost anything goes as long as you keep the politics (and porn) out of it. And whatever you want to get, you'll get it – so all the young guns blazing, they'll get down below alright. Black leather boots melt away like the identity of a young man who desperately tries to convince himself that they were made for walking not melting. The ghost of Nick Drake had to be taken care of. However, the lesson he had learned, we needed to hear about it. I didn't realize it back then, but this is also about the migrating souls looking for a new body to settle in. Reincarnation and the spiritual world may or may not be just metaphorical. ”Those who die may come back”, but how you deal with your life today is always unique. The same lessons keep on coming back until you learn them and are able to move on? This Great Southern Finnish Trendkilling Ghost Ride, what about it.

Misanthropic (Let The Crown Fall)
An old song title from August 1996

Is it the end of the world or just one age passing by? Ragnarök inspired me back in 1996, and so a quote from the Twilight of the Gods was needed for this song, also. And let it be known that ”no, I don't think I'm any better than you”. I've tried to keep my hands clean, whether the question was about blood money or dirty deeds done dirt cheap. And of course we have Lemminkäinen's war cry from Kalevala. They are coming back from their Pohjola journey to steal Sampo. And they will get through.

Black Seas Cry

Apologies for one's mother. And sympathy for the lost youth. This title came to me when I sat in an old bar in Pärnu, Estonia, in July 2003. And Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah is on. Many lines were taken from old songs of mine, dating from early 1996. And the Kalevala Tarot card Three of Swords is described in the chorus. I also thought of including a subtitle, but left it out eventually. (There are some remains of a quote, like echoes, from a book of Crowley in the end of this song). What was I thinking? Because of Claude Lévi-Strauss and Richard Wagner compassion as a theme is being underlined from the very beginning to the last minute. ”Oh yeah I know what I don't know, 'Cause I'm just like you”. Follow the river(s) and from your sorrow new trees will grow. Maybe it's the way back home from the lost one's journeys. If you manage to leave your prejudices behind, and try to weigh the words here, you could end up in a certain conclusion. There's a cry of distress coming from the black seas in Nietzsche's Also Sprach Zarathustra – but I didn't remember the scene in question when I wrote the lyrics. It was his last, greatest temptation: pity and compassion. He had to overcome them on his way to becoming a Superhuman. But I am much more at home with the Wagnerian durch Mitleid Wissend.

It's A Long Night

It's A Long Night came together with Black Seas Cry. Some quotes were taken from Gravesilence (the original one, from January 1997). And there are strangers in the night, but was love just a glance away and warm embrace just a dance away? The autumnal streets in Kallio, Helsinki, are they romantic? John Keats wrote an ode to Psyche. I took a line or two from there. Maybe it's good to think about the difference between angels and angles. The Russian poet Arseni Tarkovsky told us how the soul may feel without the body (see his son's movie The Mirror). We could also take up St. John of The Cross and his Night of Soul if we really want to go that far.

No Moon & No Queen

The Moon shone stranger than ever, while I went back in time, to look for my lost verses dealing with reincarnation. On the background there was a neutral description of nature's cycles. When a wolf meets a lamb it's not exactly the same as when a boy meets a girl. But let all living things be loved. SAVE THE WILDLIFE! On Spirits there was desperate love and uninvited hate, but this is another story. The Heathen And The Moon is a song dating from 1995 and so was Winter Evenings Of Loneliness. There are lots of quotes from both. And also from Winter Queen (Winter-Spring 1996) and from Through The Mist Of Night Eternal (early 1996).

Gravesilence
An old song title from January 1997

Radio, play my favourite song. Gina G's Ti Amo makes its last appearance. Most of this song was taken from the original Gravesilence. But its contents have been turned pretty much inside out. Here's a chance for you to leave the place. Another way out from the Great Depression. But a friend of mine couldn't take it anymore when he heard that I used Ti Amo again. And I couldn't help it, either. She said it so well.

The Nolan's Fati

Wyclef Jean and Mary J. Blige sing in their wonderful duet: ”if this is the kind of love that the old folks used to warn me about, I'm in trouble, I'm in real big trouble”. But it's not that clear who are the ones in trouble in this song. Can you tell me? At least there are all kinds of quotes, from my old song Amor Fati, one from Crowley's bastard Law and two etymologies by Edmund Leach: Goddamn comes from god's animal mother, don't ask what it means. By our lady is Bloody. So what is wrong? And who is right? "The stakes are high as that of Bruno's". I remember feeling ambiguous when it came to Bruno, because I thought he was too radical, too rebellious. That's what I was thinking in 2004! Nowadays I'm certain he's True, not false. Reaching for the Sun and the God in eternity, he was a believer in the brotherhood and equality of all men. They may have burned him at the stake, but his spirit lives on. All good heretics have been Lovers like that, Bruno just had too much fire in his heart. And certain Catholics have a lot to pay for, it was not the first nor the last time they acted out a real black mass. The answer to the question in the end of the song is still no, no, no, no.

More Withering

Not every day one gets a chance to hear T.S. Eliot whispering a quote he took from the Bible. ”Mordant wrath is like a dead tree.” I had this sketch for a poem called Last Nights Of September At Hand since March 2003. First version was four pages long, but I ended up using its lines for YIW. If some of the words here and there (especially in this song and in The Fall Went....) feel like ”real poetry”, I hope this helps you to understand why.

Auguries Gone

"They say the good man has gone bad, and nothing's god comes to those who wait." Even if it takes forever I'll wait. For a thousand endless nights I'll wait. Let them speak for themselves, today the answers have to be found from within. Greetings from the Manicheans and the Gnostics, boni homines, the Good Men. Leonard Cohen's Memories come with a solemn light and vain chances. Eino Leino's Nocturne is there in all of its sadness. But the last verse is given to Anki Lindquist who sings about tulip fields and long-haired emptypockets. There are words taken from her songs and words influenced heavily by them. I read Nietzsche when I was bitter sixteen, and unfortunately understood much of what I read. But he ain't going nowhere, it is only after knowing Nietzsche's Why and Where that we are able to think what we wanna do with our lives. The debts have been paid and something went down the drain. "But it's all right mama, we're only bleeding". To get wasted could mean so many things and it depends. I mean, look who's talking. This wastrel's coming home. Without his journey the ground wouldn't feel the same, and there wouldn't be these words to speak. Please, read your Philosophie der Freiheit before you leave the harbour, that might be the lesson for this story. And I mean the whole world, not just "the laughing prodigal sons".

(The harbour, the hatred & "the seamen"?)

Steal the Light / Spirits And August Light

2010-03-17T16:50:00.064+02:00

WRITHEN
DEATHWHITE
THE PERFUMED GARDEN
AMOR TONIGHT
CURE A WOUND
THE EMPTINESS OF SPIRIT
WASTREL
SON'S THOUGHTS
IT SHINES

These two records have the same intensity, even though they sound quite different. STL (our fourth demo ”Wastrel” re-recorded) has an atmosphere of weakness and hope. There is a sense of something warm in the songs. Maybe it's because of the candles lit for Giordano Bruno. Part of it is literally crazy, but we all know that in search of clarity the way is lost in itself. Being one of OG's most important releases, it certainly deserves to share the lot with our first full-length album. Those were the days. Good, bad and ugly spirits came our way during the year 2002. And there was some honest bullshit on the road, too. Despite our initial efforts and wishes SAAL ended up sounding helplessly unique and very bitter-not-sweet (instead of a beautifully nostalgic ride around teen spirited golden ages). Amor had lost Fati and love had gone like smoke in the city aflame from within. There was less hope. But then again, even a fool's hope could be enough. So we let the bells ring and tried to forget all perverse offerings. When we recorded SAAL many things were not what they were supposed to be, but the band managed to keep it all together. The outcome was one small dirty piece of X.X.X.X, almost like a matter of life and death in the wrong place. The boots may be old and broken, but their story is new and bright.
- Written for the August 2008 release

WRITHEN

"To get out of smell of mould,
To get back on your feet again
Let every god have his day"
And again the leather is black
As I lie on fragments of glass
More broke than ever, No more ti amo
Trying not to hate the guts we all have
'Cause I got the guts and I feel the guilt
Now we still hate it when we play the part of the Greek
Vanhaa suolaa siihen haavaan joka vuotaa edelleen
And who swore not to let it out in here
Just to see the boots rot away in one's feet
So better ring the bell of whoredom if it wants to ring,
Or just forget all perverse offerings
The writhing stays the same
Even if you got the guts and you feel the guilt
Now we still hate it when we play the part of the Greek
Vanhaa suolaa siihen haavaan joka vuotaa edelleen

Minne sattuu ihmiseen
Vanhaa suolaa siihen haavaan
Joka vuotaa edelleen

DEATHWHITE

Free enough to see what's going on in there
A man has naught if not himself, Not an island
Just the son of a gun
I'm sure you knew I ate it up to spit it out
In blinded mute ground, Gasping for words
Buried
Yes, you saw the lust for vengeance

I've had my fill, The share of losing
I've had my fill, The share of losing

The years in these worlds,
More than I could feel
Anywhere
To get it crystallized at last
And when they all speak at the same time
They make me wonder what on earth in hell it was
And was it wise to seek release
in and through ex stasis
Did I face it all, Standing
With the 'love, laugh, cry'
To say the things I truly feel
I've had my fill, The share of losing

THE PERFUMED GARDEN

(Original lyrics by Olli Lappalainen, but they're not available. This poem was written to fit in with the old words....)

I'm sick of all these scars
And thinking of you, Why you left me
'Cause I'd seen that love was true
The worst of me would tear it all away
But the worst of me could feel its whole grace
"....In the garden the fallen jesting
With souls burned black...."
(My mind is clear)
The spring of that year came back
Without a fear, And they fell for you
Everyone for lost delight
"....In the garden the fallen jesting
With souls burned black...."
(My mind is clear)
The spring of that year came back
And they fell for you
Everyone for lost delight
The spring of that year came back
And we have met again
And your scent is still the same
I'm sick of all these scars
and thinking of you, Why you left me
'Cause I'd seen that love was true

AMOR TONIGHT

I put my boots back on,
Brought them down from the attic
And they're so nice and broken,
With words unspoken
To this city inside aflame
Here I am, Like a crooked little lamb
So breathless
The world is trying to stop (me)
And the night is still
And it's still "if you only knew…"
Like an hour of doom,
With broken bottles on the streets
And Amor gone crazy
So crazy, As we feel afire
(It’s the summer of love and I feel...)

Just forgive me the bad weather
There's no love without faith and thine is dead,
No love except with Fati and thine is dead

So would you let me be,
Let me be the bastard Waleis
That I was meant to be
Tonight

CURE A WOUND

Throw your wishes at a stone,
Whenever feeling it
What has an endless sight
It never cared for us, Will the midnight sun
Ever be that black again
Take off more masquerades,
Longing to be touched
To be released in a way or another
Try harder and everything will be blending,
Then tear it down

The wine's out of your cup
Don't cure a wound, No baby,
That doesn't help at all
Throw your wishes at a stone,
Whenever feeling it
What has an endless sight
It never cared for us

The wine's out of your cup
Don't cure a wound, No baby,
That doesn't help at all
"There's too many party people,
The tough guys are even worse"
Oh if it's grey one should get lost
And you should know you spell it wrong
Let's bleed for the years that passed away
with seasonal affective disorder
Even in Midsummer

THE EMPTINESS OF SPIRIT

How many paths must a man
Walk down until you call him a man
And if it isn't good I understand,
With different rights

The days to settle down,
To hear what's going low
There's a bitter old ghost
And a side trail every morning

How many paths must a man
Walk down until you call him a man
And when it comes to this,
Easily for those with beer,
Honey, Waiting

The days to settle down,
To hear what's going low
And it's in the wind
The spirit blowing the answer
To an asshole's face
Not to swear for nothing,
In synchronicity that's even still perfect
There's a bitter old ghost
And a side trail every morning

IT SHINES

The world's broken when I'm not here,
And if we take it to its limits…
Maybe no beauty left
Seeing things that aren't ours
For truth and delusion,
Any kind of a difference

But on that night it felt like home
With a small amount of love and that cliche
Classy pale white face
What her sad eyes brought me

"And I want to be, I want
To be where the sun is shining
I want to have you there beside me
And take me back to where the magic is
‘Cause this fucking head it's hurting"

Searching for bliss from between the lines,
And if I'm given the chance…
Moving in this world with good luck in the veins
‘Cause so far, Yeah, So far I've suffered too

But no more dog-like martyrs to be
With these heads to shine hurt and curse
And no, I could not sleep at night
When its throes held me high

"And I want to be, I want
To be where the sun is shining
I want to have you there beside me
And take me back to where the magic is
'Cause this fucking head it's hurting"

(The Triangle is perfect, after all. But the headache was terrible.)

Writhen
An old song title from August 1997

Leonard Cohen thinks Anthem is his best song. ”Ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering. There's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.” So let all the bells ring. It was about time to dress in black leather again, for there was a part to be played. Divided against itself, what would be the result? If you want to see it add some nostalgy. "Vanhaa suolaa siihen haavaan joka vuotaa edelleen" brings old sayings together. "Vanha suola janottaa" is the same as "old love makes you thirsty". Literally translated it would mean "old salt makes thirsty". And "suolaa siihen haavaan joka vuotaa edelleen" means "pour salt to the wound that still bleeds". About the nature of Minne, medieval German courtly love, there are many differing views. Jacques Lacan said it's a poetic technique resembling foreplay, while for Rudolf Steiner it was something literally spiritual. "Minne sattuu ihmiseen" means "where does it hurt in man". Or, "love hurts". The amount of bad air has grown in many places. I think we need good air conditioners more than ever, instead of uninvited and unseen guests that move in and stay until they are cast out. This song tries to score at least one point. Though, there is no reason for me to be proud. I myself didn't succeed very well. Not before I let it out.

Deathwhite
An old song title from June 1996

There once was a man who wanted to race along the highway listening to My Way. But he always woke up feeling bad, with a mouth full of dirty words, so to speak. The man knew it would be best to clean it with a soap, but he already had a few spirit world speeding tickets waiting to be paid. Luckily Frank Sinatra helped a little with this debt. Yes, baby, it was the wrong way. Should have turned right. When that kind of shit happens, you'll just have to eat it up and then spit it all out. And try again. Even if every man was like an island unto himself, without the sea he would still be nothing.

The Perfumed Garden
An old song title from November-December 1996

This song has a demo version called Garden of Fallen Jesters. I have to apologize Olli Lappalainen for changing the title of the first OG hit. However, there were no lyrics availabe when I was given the job. I had to invent words that seemingly follow the existing vocal lines (I didn't do this all the way). Now published for the first time, the complete love poem dating from February 2002, inspired by Sheikh Nefzaoui's book, my old songs and the first scent of love. I was reading Dante when I wrote it. As the new OG crew approached me last spring (2007), asking for the lyrics, I realized that the only remaining copy of the poem had survived as a bookmark for Divina Commedia. So time did tell after all. Love had the final word on this. But it had to be purified first.

Amor Tonight

The lines concerning Amor's mental health and his new style of using the bow and arrow were based on text messages sent to me during the Summer of 2002. Here the poor boy compares himself to a crooked little lamb, and repeats after Luther: here I am. No, sorry, it was Nick Cave. But let it be. Things are going smoothly over the edge. I have to say the song is among OG's best ones when performed live, but on this record it's pretty strange. The moods in the studio were tuned on and out, and I was sick. God, I was so sick of it. It was not anyone's fault in particular, but to speak the truth it was everyone's fault. ”Just forgive me the bad weather” is a quote from my old lyrics Amor Fati (April 1997), and the following lines are what Amor said to Psyche when they broke up. Helen Hoffner sings it's the summer of love. And my spirit was burning, too. But the song is a good one. It's not her fault if you're an idiot. Wolfram's Parzival was the Waleis. Nowadays everyone trying to walk the path of "spiritual progress" could be called Parzival (this may not be the right channel to talk about it, hence the joking - maybe the guy has a sense of humour, after all?). Yes, well, I'm not a bastard. My father and mother are decent people.

Cure A Wound
An old song title from July 1997

I celebrated my 18th birthday in Nummirock, when the Midnight Sun was shining bright. I was bored and dull, and so it was scientifically proved that seasonal affective disorder can ruin your days even in Midsummer. There were some nice people and beautiful moments waiting for me, but I let them all "down". One thing I always admired about the OG crew was that they did not take things too seriously, they just enjoyed their time. In those dark ages of the nineties I was playing the part of a misanthropic asshole, and although I did it partly consciously (laughing at my own stupidity), I was too..... And, no, I can't deny it: whether it was the pain and suffering, the difficulties I still had, or whether it was just the Stylus I had to imitate in order to achieve some sort of "credibility", I went on - going with the flow again, for a little while, back in 2002-2003. But there are things and other Things; E.B Tylor's Primitive Culture had these wonderful examples of old midsummer rituals (throwing wine at a stone etc), and there's the Hölderlinian distance between men and gods. So, does "God hate us all"? And is it true,"what has an endless sight, it never cared for us"? You should know when you spell it all wrong.

The Emptiness Of Spirit

Good old Bob Dylan sings Blowing in the wind, and it was February 2000. This is an important song, read my lips. I repeat: this is an important song. Good lyrics, good melodies, good singing and a spirit's warning! The wordplays are necessary, for there must be different things for different men, some of us want to drink booze, others want to find out what's going on here. We all have our fights and our rights. There's a bitter old ghost and a side trail every morning. Until we're back on the track. And this is also our official song about backstabbers who sit in a corner bar waiting for better times, just like you and me, just like you and me. Oh, but do we know where our bad vibes came from. It's alright. We have Turbolover, also. And even Divine Light is still somewhere there, circle around long enough till you get something out of it. Luckily I was Freewheelin' with Bob Dylan all the way. You gotta face your ghosts and know with no illusions.......

Wastrel / Son's Thoughts

....that you're all going home again. Whatever the X.X.X.X, whatever the reasons behind it, no matter how bad the situation was, here the words themselves hold. Nothing can bring them down. Who knows if they actually had some effect to those bad and ugly spirits who came our way and wanted to sing along. Certainly it was not this moment when our producer Nino Laurenne gave me the nickname "Hevin M.A. Numminen". But it was a good name, and I'm still flattered.

It Shines

Shine on you crazy diamond. Syd Barrett walks his path and Gina G tells us where she wants to be (Ti Amo). Reading Heidegger and watching Music Television. I guess I had improved since 1996 when I was listening to Katatonia with MTV on mute. Really, Pink Floyd opens it all up to you. And there is a small amount of love left, with a silent last wish. But who was it? And what was it about? One thing is sure. In the end of this song something old has died and something new will be born. If not today, maybe tomorrow or the day after that.

(The audience didn't know what they were getting. Otherwise they would not have shown that sign.)

Wastrel (Steal the Light)

2010-03-17T16:50:00.062+02:00

WASTREL
SON’S THOUGHTS
CANDLES FOR GIORDANO BRUNO
AMMO
LOST AND FOUND

WASTREL

Yes, I can't deny the worn-out and truthful
If it's picturesque
Though it’s just a saying…
Not useful

Resolve that great chain of aging and fierce hours
So soon it becomes annoying to us
Yes between her thighs it was nothing
I don't know if she even lives but you...
And I never was in need of touch
Unless it would come through my heart's shape
Not like they who say it in today's fashion

Now you know what's going on with me
Trying to steal the light
And in the evenings a slight chill in the air
I'm still here breathing
Feeling so much better than I was last year
With a curtain of smoke
And in the evenings a slight chill in the air
The welkin not on my mind, Nor anything it covers

SON'S THOUGHTS

For the one my window hides in its view
To enlighten me if my love's real
Or that faith
What's more bitter than the late spring
I forgot to live, Seated in one of their fucking trains
Yes, I forgot to live seated in one of those

And when the world is left
I don't need an inscription to remind for these things
If it's washing away, Well, You know what
Praying on one's knees
Before
Bring salvation for every soul
I forgot to live, Seated in one of their fucking trains
Yes, I forgot to live seated in one of those

When in search of clarity
The way is lost in itself
Gone into its own walker
And every shadow has its bearer of shadow
Every shadow has its bearer of shadow
A son with the thought of not standing his demise
Still afraid of getting a lethal dis-ease
And the clauses they were, They were all without reins
Though…
Didn't want to lose, Didn't want to lose my heart
Somewhere in the mists of my blurred daily consciousness
The thought of not standing a dis-ease

CANDLES FOR GIORDANO BRUNO

“Welcome to a dramatic play
Bleed in these arms until the chains are broken"
After all there was something real
When you said you still believe
In what's feeling right

Damn that misanthropy
Full insanity for the earth
Laughing
I know you're frustrated
A moment ago the flames reminded me of something
I won't say it, The candles are now ablaze
But wait for a while
I won't say it

Don't be afraid of the mirror
"For molten candles and for Bruno's throes"
Not present

No, don't draw down
The silver chariot from the sky
No gloomy landscape of wintry frost
Can ever lead me astray again
The candles are now ablaze,
But wait for a while
I won't say it

AMMO

And here's enough of them,
For many a nightly breath
And a fine shelter from the jealous too
The rise of an extinguished art
Higher dreams have come to us

And here's enough of them,
The depressive season
There with sceneries filled with idols
Hell, The space is no more
Who named the crown that fell

What do you think
Who were supposed to make it this time
Yes, Blacken little hearts
(I can't believe my eyes)
You romanticized the depths of this one
The wisdom of men and women says
Those things we can't speak directly of
We must refer to them
What do you think
Who were supposed to make it this time
Yes, Blacken little hearts

LOST AND FOUND

So maybe I lost all youth and tender loving, After wards
When I gave in wholly for that thing other and went my way
And the bride's mouth tasted like the word it's called by
But I've always been an oppressive kind of guy
That's right

And they think I'm some kind of a...
Forget it

An early September night in that crooked bar
Tired and angry I was leaving the place
In that crooked bar
There leaning against the wall
Little but just enough
For solace
And how the trees aghast
Over four o'clock
Think about
All the love stories gone awry
To rest for a while
It really saved my evening then
Though nothing much more

And I thought
"It seems like I've found you"
And I thought
"It seems like I've found you"
And I thought
"It seems like I've found you"
And I thought
"It seems like I've found you”

(Semifinal in 2002. What does headbanging really stand for?
It was ridiculous, but there was no other choice, was there.)

Wastrel

Nick Drake is our man here. A few of the lines were stolen from his biography. Other lines I stole from my own Book of Leaves (”Lehdet”). I bought it blank from old Riga in August 2000. I wrote these first five songs for OG during a few days in November 2000, two weeks after saying yes to Markus. But many lines were taken from Pathvvays and "the story that was not sung", thus kind of opening up the themes from the wasted youth (all STL songs have the same). Are there some old Manichean concepts or am I just dreaming? At least we have a Father-Mother-Son-Daughter going on, a real / an unreal Tetragrammatonic journey, but we're no more in a hurry to catch the name of God. It was about time to take a deep breath instead. ”And a spark from the Kingdom of Light was sent to the Kingdom of Darkness, where it worked creating a whirlwind, and lighting them with its own essence of pure love, making them want to change.” This is one way to understand what consequences there could be for stealing the light. Another way is the old Finnish joke about the fools who forgot to build windows to their house and so they try to carry the light in (and the darkness out) with their sacks. And what could they do? I think Wastrel has an atmosphere that can almost be touched. I was weak, but I had hope. Just like the songs here: they're weak, but there's hope. You don't find it in too many places these days. I was reaching towards something I did not even believe was real. But I felt its presence, and THAT was something real. This OG debut MCD is much better than it appears to be at first sight. It really is.

Son's Thoughts

Latvian poet Guntars Godins wrote about the way going into its own walker, when we're in search of clarity, and about the shadows that always have their bearers (but it's a long way back from the shadow to what you really are). The verse appealed to me so heavily in 2000 that it ended up here. And the K-train in Helsinki will be, always and forever more, the very last train to Transcendental. But if you didn't make it, well, you didn't miss anything special. Maybe even saved a few unnecessary tears. I get nostalgic when I think about these things. Son's Thoughts used to be the most wanted OG song, and it was very difficult to realize for us members of the band why. But I understood later on. "To enlighten me if my love is real, or that faith". Despite all the shame and uncertainty I felt when we recorded STL, it was meant to last.

Candles For Giordano Bruno
Candles is a song title from October-November 1997

Here we have words from Deathwhite (November 1996) and from some other poems (written in 1997). This song used to be called Candlelight before I came along, and so I just added Giordano Bruno to my own, almost similar title of old, to make it sound right. Bruno was a mathemagician who was burned at the stake in 1600. I'd been reading some of his books earlier that year. It made a perfect match, to lit the flames. Even though this song has nothing to do with Bruno.

Ammo
An old song title from September-October 1997

This is the Rise of an Extinguished Art, striving hard to find some light after a long dark age of depression and frustration. Higher dreams have come to replace the sceneries filled with idols. "What do you think, who were supposed to make it this time?" The wisdom of men & women says, we must refer to those things we can't speak directly of. Mythic realities were the name of the game in November 2000, while I tried to recall the days of the first Ammo. To write about those times of rocking and rambling. But raising positive vibes with a Nietzschean spirit in 1997 had fallen flat. And our Ammo of 2000 has come to learn all of this, and the truth that there's more to it than....

Lost & Found
or Lost And Found

This was the only song title I didn't change when I joined the band. For a few years Lost & Found was my favourite bar in Helsinki. Then I stopped going out (nothing wrong with the place). Is it a gay or a sad thing to realize what you have lost, being "an oppressive kind of guy". The early September night happened in 2000, and everything went as it is written down here. The trees were aghast over four o'clock, listening to our stories gone awry. And as we walked the autumn streets to her apartment in Töölö, I fell in love with the scenery on the way. After a few months I found myself living in the same neighbourhood.

(When you hear me moaning and groaning babe, you know it hurts deep down inside. Here Janne "Big Bass" Markkanen is growling louder than the vocalist!)